So you’ve done it, you’ve agreed for your favourite person in this entire world, to stay your favourite person forever – until death do you part. Firstly, well done! That probably took a lot of courage. Now, however, the stress is to come! You need to get married.
For women, the pressure on this day is phenomenal: skin, hair, hands, nails, feet, shoes, dress, bouquet, bridesmaids, decorations, venue and so much more need to be carefully considered and arranged before you can even think of enjoying the big day. For men, the pressure is not so apparent, you stand as the support base for this day, but that is no mean feat! Men still have responsibilities before, during and after the wedding but they traditionally have to deal with them calmly and quietly, which is perhaps even more daunting.
In short, the groom’s responsibilities can be from turning up, to arranging the getting of every detail the bride has chosen. Where you lie in this spectrum cannot be bad, so long as it works and you are both happy with the arrangements. Though for argument’s sake the traditional responsibilities of the groom are: picking the groomsmen; choosing the wedding bands; deciding his own wedding attire, and that of his groomsmen; booking venues and transport. Understandably a lot of these decisions are mutually decided between the bride and groom, but if some of these have been left entirely to you, here are some points to consider.
Generally this is down to personal preference; if you uncharacteristically choose a bright blue, shiny metallic tuxedo then nobody can stop you, you’re the groom. What they can do, however, is laugh at you. For your wedding day you want to reflect your personality, but you will also want to cherish those moments forever, and if your wife doesn’t mind you looking like a disastrous 90s popstar then fine, go ahead! If she seems hesitant however, maybe tone it down slightly.
The standard wedding dress code is smart: think tuxedo, bow tie, shiny-shoes-type-dress. The style and fit you choose, again, is personal but remember you want to look good, really good, to remind your bride-to-be why she should be saying yes at the end of the aisle, rather than running away. This applies to your groomsmen too, they are supporting you but you also want to be proud of your boys as well. Chances are that your bride will be acquainted, if not friends, with them and could help with dress suggestions as she will know the overall theme of the wedding even with her eyes closed by then. If matching is not your style, then co-ordinating or simply approving is still an option. As long as you and your team of groomsmen are happy and confident in your wedding attire there should not be a problem.
More so than what to wear on your wedding day, choosing your wedding rings is one of the most important decisions when getting married because it lasts the duration of your entire marriage. Consider whether you would like a gold, white gold, silver or platinum ring, would you like it engraved? To match your wife’s? Diversity in men’s wedding rings is increasing, which, although makes it more difficult to choose, can offer more individual and personal choices. Unless you and your future wife are choosing each other’s blind, it is good to shop around and see what you want before either she chooses it, or go together; as remember, you will be wearing this ring every single day for a very long time. Once you have purchased the rings, they need to be kept very safe, they are very important. If you have a special presentation in mind for them, arrange this early so that it doesn’t go wrong. If they are to be kept in certain holders, keep them together so that nothing is lost.
Not interested in wedding rings? Many couples are opting for wedding bracelets, necklaces or even tattoos to show their marital bond. There is nothing wrong with this, but make sure it is arranged well before the wedding in case there are any glitches.
Yes it would be incredibly cool for you and your groomsmen to turn up at your wedding on Harley Davidsons, but if only one of you has a license this may not work. Unfortunately, for most people getting married, there is a budget to abide by and practicalities to consider. Rule number one for arranging the transport is making sure that everybody can get there. If people are making their own way there, make sure there is ample parking. If it’s by taxi, order enough to cater for everyone with room for error too! The bride and groom’s cars are obviously the most important; you want something you are both comfortable with, got a fear of horses? Don’t book a horse and cart! At this point it is important to arrange the party you will be attending with. The bride may be going with just her Father, or it may be parents, younger sister and dog. This all needs to be catered for well in advance and have room for adaptation if things change.
By all means, of course you and your groomsmen can all go together in one party bus, but if on the day you’re feeling nervous and agitated, perhaps you you would prefer going with just your best man in a separate car. Have a think about this and then shop around for what suits you and your partner best.
Unfortunately, these points may have reminded you just how much you need to think about before your big day. This is fine, just make sure that you have a schedule to follow and everything is written down and followed, this way you will know what you have done, what you have left to do and how urgent it will be. Most importantly however, plan on enjoying your wedding day as it will be the only one you will have!
Here are some other helpful sources:
Thank you for reading, if you found this helpful check out the other posts on Help! I’m Getting Married!